K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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