so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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