i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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