I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
