chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
