my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
