Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
