I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Is it penis luge time yet?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
