Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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