i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
