I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
