that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
