What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
