WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
