May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
