Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
