redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Randomize
