Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
