Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
