I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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