You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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