i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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