I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
did you just send me my own nude
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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