I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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