I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
