her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
