new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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