She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Randomize
