I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
