i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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