You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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