he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
