I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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