OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
