I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
