that's an acceptable place to lick
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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