Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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