I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
