I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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