belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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