We're facebook friends in real life
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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