When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
