when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
