oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
this just has baby written all over it
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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