Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
