I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Who did Billy Mays play for?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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