Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
