i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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