Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
