I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Less talking, more tequila
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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