I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
the liver wants what the liver wants
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
