but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
