He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
