I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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