I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
