your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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