Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize