he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
