I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
So squirting runs in the family.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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