The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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