just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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