i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
