he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
